05/15/2018

An example of simple reflection

今日からまた気温が上がり、こちらは、現在、気温25度～26度程度で、心地よいです。今日も一日、元気に過ごしましょう。

client : I don't have time to exercise. My spouse and friends don't either.

coach : It seems that you, your friends, and your spouse don't have time to exercise.

client : That's true, except for one of my friends who is an avid runner. I don't know how he does it.

coach : When you say you have a friend who is an avid runner, it sounds like you are impressed and may be curious, wondering how he manages to find the time.
Retrieved from Coaching psychology manual (Moore, Jackson, & Tschannen-Moran, 2016).

Posted at 12:00 PM | | Comments (0)

05/14/2018

An example of double-sided reflection

client : I don't have time to exercise. My friends and my spouse don't either.

coach : I hear you saying that you don't have time to exercise and that your friends and spouse don't either. But I've also heard you say that exercise makes you feel better and that regular exercise would be good for your energy and health.

client : That's the problem. I want to exercise, and it does make me feel better, but it cuts into my time with family and friends. If I could figure out how to do both, perhaps I could make exercise stick.

coach : It sounds like you are feeling discouraged because it's hard to meet your needs for both exercise and connection, and it would be worthwhile to find a way.

Reference
Coaching psychology manual, second edition (2016).       

Posted at 09:21 PM | | Comments (0)

An example of amplified reflection

client : I don't have time to exercise. My friends and my spouse don't either.

coach : I hear you saying that you don't know anyone close to you who has time to exercise and that it feels impossible for you to fit exercise habits into your daily schedule.

client: It's not impossible for me to exercise. It's just hard to find the time. Once in a while I do manage to exercise, and I know there are people out there who exercise regularly, so maybe I could figure out a way.

coach: Sounds as though you are curious and feeling a little energized about finding a way to exercise more regularly, learning from the experience of others.

Reference
Moore,M., Jackson, E., & Tschannen-Moran, B .(2016). Coaching psychology manual, second edition. Philadelphia, PA. Wolters Kluwer.

Posted at 09:13 PM | | Comments (0)

05/11/2018

ダイエットへのモチベーション確認 - the importance of motivation

For those who are hoping to improve your fitness, physique, eating habits and so on, asking the following questions to yourself will increase your motivation for achieving your goals.
ダイエットしたい、ステキなカラダになりたいと思っている皆さん、やる気を高めたり維持するには、自分自身に以下の質問をしてみると気持ちの確認になるかもしれません。

1) What is driving you to accomplish this goal ?
    なぜ、そうなりたいか？　原動力は何か？
2) What is important to you about this goal ?
    どうして、それが重要なのか？
　　自分にとって、そのことがどんな意味を持つのか？
3) What results are you expecting ?
    自分自身がどんな結果を望んでいるのか？

Reference
Moore, M., Jackson, E, & Tschannen-Moran, B. (2016). Coaching psychology manual, second edition. Philadelphia, PA. Wolters Kluwer

Posted at 08:37 AM | | Comments (0)

05/06/2018

Open ended question for eliciting clients' storytelling (part 3)

1) What is on your plate right now that maybe getting in the way, this week, this next month, in the next three months ?

2) What would you like to do ?
3) What are you able to do to overcome this hardship or meet your goal ?
4) What are you willing to do to overcome this fear or your goal ?
5) What do you want to do to overcome this tough time or meet your goal ?
6) What can I do to best help you today ?
7) What might I do better to help you today ?
8) What would your life be like if you do not achieve this goal ?
9) What is the best case scenario if you achieve this goal ?
10) What is the worst case scenario if you don't achieve your goal ?

Reference
Moore, M., Jackson, E., & Tschannen-Moran, B. (2016). Coaching psychology manual, second edition. Philadelphia, PA. Wolters Kluwer.

ゴールデンウィークも明け、気候も夏らしくなってきましたね。皆さん、どんな風に過ごされましたでしょうか？　明日からまた頑張りましょう。

Posted at 10:55 PM | | Comments (0)

05/05/2018

Open ended question for eliciting clients' story telling (part 2)

1) What will it take for you to make changes ?
2) What have you tried and succeeded to accomplish in your life that is similar to this goal ?
3) What are some new possibilities that you haven't considered before ?
4) What do you think is the best possible outcome of this coaching program ?
5) What do you think is the likely outcome of this coaching program ?
6) What do you think is the worst possible outcome of this coaching program ?
7) What would you like the outcome of our coaching program to be ?
8) What is happening when you feel getting exhausted ?
9) What are the triggers that are stimulating you to feel anxious ?
10) What would it take to deal with your feelings of emotional disturbance ?
11) What is holding you back or standing in your way ?  How is it holding you back ?
12) What are you afraid of ?
13) What is at risk for you ?
14) What is more important to you than meeting this goal ?
15) What would make this the right time for you to do this ?

Reference
Moore, M., Jackson, E., & Tschannen-Moran, B (2016). Coaching psychology manual, second edition. Philadelphia, PA. Wolters Kluwer.

P.S.
When I was seeing an interview of J,Lo before, her motto in life captured my heart and attention, that is ...  " Be the best person you can be in every moment ".   if I translate her words in my interpretation, that would be ... " Not to tell a lie to one's mind and be honest and sincere to oneself as possible in every moment.  Of course as long as you live, 100 % perfect can't be though ... "            

Posted at 08:38 PM | | Comments (0)

Open ended questions for eliciting clients' story telling (part 1)

Although this week is a holiday studded week in Japan, I don't have a special thing to do, so, I'm writing some samples of open ended questions that are applicable for one's everyday work in order to solidify my memory.

1) What would you like your wellness to look like three months later, one year later, or two years later ?
2) What are top three values in your life ?
3) What are top three goals in your life ?
4) What part of your life is most important to you ?
5) What would you like less of in your life ?
6) What would you like more of in your life ?
7) What excites you ?
8) What would you like to accomplish in the next three months ?
9) What motivators are important enough for you to enable you to overcome your obstacles in order to achieve your goals ?
10) What would your life be like if you achieve these goals ?
11) What would your life be like if you do not achieve these goals ?
12) What is the best case scenario ?
13) What is the worst case scenario ?

These inquiries would be useful for reconfirming one's values and priorities in one's life as well.
Reference
Moore, M., Jackson, E., & Tschannen-Moran, B. (2016).
Coaching Psychology Manual, second edition. Philadelphia, PA. Wolters Kluwer.   

Posted at 08:05 PM | | Comments (0)

04/28/2018

つかず離れずの距離

少し前の相撲のスキャンダルや最近ワイドショーネタになっている有名アイドルの件などから僕なりに思うことは、人間関係において「お互いにとって心地の良い信頼関係や距離感」というのは、非常に微妙なもので難しいなあ、ということです。

例えば、学校の先生や職場の上司・同僚とは心の通い合う信頼関係を築くのが理想だけれど、あまりにも親しくなりすぎてしまうと、逆に都合の悪い面もあったりしますよね。学生さんだったら、新学期に新しいクラスメートやチームメイトと早く仲良くなって友達を増やしたいけれど、あまりに焦って新しい友人との距離を詰めようとすると、相手を怒らせてしまったり、迷惑をかけてしまったり。恋人同士や夫婦、あるいは親子の間でも、相手との最適な距離感というのが大切なんだろうと思います。

人間関係において、どこまで踏み込んで本音で話をするか？ どれくらいのペースで良好な関係を構築していくか？　これについては、ひとりひとり、考えや好みが大きく異なるので、相手にとって良かれと思ったことが、実は相手にとっては不快だったりする可能性もあるわけです。僕自身がお客様の目にどう映っているか？も人それぞれだと思います。「このインストラクターは馴れ馴れしいヤツだな」と感じる方がいらっしゃるかもしれないし、場合によっては「よそよそしくて親近感がないな」と感じる方もいらっしゃるかもしれません。

長期間、良い関係を維持するには「つかず離れずの関係が良い」とも聞きますが、これもどの程度の距離感やペースが「つかず離れず」なのか？ 人によって捉え方が大きく違うように思います。僕自身の性格は、たとえて言うなら「バーベルとフィットネス雑誌と英検の参考書がお友達」みたいなオタクな面があるので、人間関係の微妙で最適な距離感を察知するのが鈍感というか下手なのかな？と思ったりもします。健康＆フィットネス関連の心理的側面を学んでいる人間がこんなことを言ったら矛盾しているかもしれませんが、人の心理や感情、人間関係の最適な距離感というのは、ほんとうに微妙で難しいものだなと感じます。

What I feel recently is about an appropriate and comfortable distance in trusting human relationship.  For example, a mutual understanding with your school teachers, your supervisor in the workplace would be an important key for good human relationship. However, the distance between you and that person was too close, there would be something inconvenient aspects as well, such as privacy matters ... etc.

Similar thing can be said if you are a student, for example, you will want to get along with your new classmates as soon as possible in the new school term.  However, if you  stepped into the heart/backyard of your new friend too early, that kind of your behavior may be a bit annoying or troublesome for the new friend, depending on that person's way of thinking, views, personality, culture and so on.

So to speak, in order to establish and maintain a good and trusting human relationship for as long as possible, an ideal distance that is not too close and not too far would be very important. The problem is ...  the ideal distance, pace, timing and so on in good and comfortable human relations are largely different from person to person. That would be one of the most challenging aspects in intricacy of human relations.         
 

Posted at 02:46 PM | | Comments (0)

04/23/2018

ダイエットやエクササイズを始める動機 - A reason to initiate a new habit

季節も暖かくなり夏が近づいてきました。薄着の季節ということで、多くの皆さんが、「ダイエットしたいなあ、エクササイズもしなきゃ」と考えていらっしゃると思います。問題は、必要性は感じているけど、実行に移すのは何となく躊躇しているということだと思います。

このように考えてみてはいかがでしょうか？
1) 現状を変えることや新しいことにチャレンジすることでどんな良いこと・利点があるか？
2) 現状にとどまることの利点は何か？　あるいは弊害は何か？

The swimsuit season is just around the corner, and many of you guys will be thinking of starting a fitness workout program or diet program. In many cases, although you feel the necessity for changing your eating habits or exercise habits, a problem will be how well you motivate yourself for initiating and maintaining the change. In that case, how about thinking about pros of the change, and cons of staying the same ?

Posted at 01:22 PM | | Comments (0)

04/10/2018

benefits/drawbacks of staying the same

Decisional Balance is a kind of balance sheet of pros and cons of a particular behavior (your desired change).

What are the benefits of staying the same ?
sample answer,  being able to continue the current comfortable lifestyle   
What are benefits of changing the status quo ?
sample answer,  your life would become more exciting and meaningful
What are your concerns/worries about making a change ?
sample answer,  a possibility of failure, rejection by people,   
What are your concerns about staying in the current situation ?
sample answer,  your future will not expand, rather dwindle gradually

considering the benefits of staying the same and changing your life,  disadvantages/risks of staying the same and changing your current situation,  which do you think is important and beneficial for your future vision ?     Staying here ? or changing/modifying/improving something as your situation allows ?     The answer will be evident, it is already in your mind.            

Posted at 08:49 AM | | Comments (0)

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