As for appropriate coaching approaches for male clients and female clients, a slight difference in preferences based on gender seems to exist. What is important for female would be ... in many cases, compassion and empathy, whereas, males clients prefer detailed technical advice for improvement. Of course, interindividual difference also exists.
The benefits of self-compassion are numerous, especially related to a client's need for self-determination. First, experiencing a connectedness with others - aknowledging the interconnectedness of all humankind - supports one's most basic need for relatedness. When behaviors are driven by love, rather than fear, feelings of confidence and a sense of security are more likely to take hold. Frenzy is tamed, leading to a calmer heart and mind. When a client is calm, he or she is better able to make wise and intentional choices informed by emotional intteligence. Autonomy is supported when one is encouraged to be reflective and make choices in line with one's values, needs, and motivations. Better behavioral choices lead to an increased chance of success, or mastery experiences, which completes the circle in building confidence or a sense of competency for the next task (Moore, Jackson, and Tschannen-Moran, 2016).
Reference
Moore, M., Jackson, E., & Tschannen-Moran, B. (2016)
Coaching psychology manual, second edition.
Wolters Kluwer, Philadelphia, PA.
" Coaching is a hope-inspring relationship. Coaching is about possibilities, action, and learning "
So to speak, an important premise for it is ... wellness coach himself or herself needs to be positive, thoughtful, and considerate.
Reference
Moore, M., Jackson, E., & Tschannen-Moran, B. (2016)
Coaching psychology manual, second edition.
Wolters Kluwer. Philadelphia, PA.
I came across a nice expression about the role of health & wellness coaches in " Coaching psychology manual " textbook. That says " wellness coaches should be good learning facilitators ". I would like to keep this notion in mind in my daily responsibilities.
Behavior modification coaching (wellness coaching) is especially important for these people, I think.
1) People who are struggling with changing their habits or behavior, specifically, a long held old pattern of thinking and behavior.
2) People whose motivational source comes from external factors - it is called extrinsic motivation.
3) People who started their new action and behavior recently - people in the action stage. For those people, some help for making their new behavior a long lasting one is necessary in many cases.
The rest of 2019 is only three weeks, and for savoring the mood of Christmas, I would like to share with you a seasonal greetings video from one of my certifying bodies.
https://vimeo.com/378380393
早いもので2019年も、あと3週間となりました。僕の所持するウェルネスコーチング資格の認定団体 Wellcoachesより年末のメッセージビデオが届きました（上記リンク） 多少はクリスマス気分になりますかね？
What I should keep in mind always, beyond the framework of wellness coaching - calmness, mindfulness, empathy, which is a respectful understanding of your talking partner's circumstance.
1) To refrain from explaining too much
2) To use a silent moment as necessary
3) To be a good and active listener
4) Non-violent communication
長々と説明しすぎないこと
必要に応じて、沈黙が大切な場合もある
自分がしゃべりすぎるよりも、よい聞き役であること
These are what is neccesary/and lacking to me.
これらが自分に欠けている点だと思う。
One of important points in human relations would be to understand what is not being said. In other words, to read between lines, of course it is not so easy as to say, because, psychological and emotional responses can largely differ from parson to person, or depending on a situation. That is why the concept of wellness coaching puts a lot of emphasis on generative moments. And seeing from the other side, it means human relations are made up of a premise saying that they are very fragile and easily breakable in its nature. This is especially important in intercultural relations, I guess.
人間関係やコミュニケーションで大切なことは、言葉で表現されていない部分をどう理解するか？ということだと思う。行間を読むというか。「日本文化は言葉少なを良しとする文化だから、相手の本当の気持ちを察することが大切、欧米人はものごとをハッキリ言う」とよくいわれるけど、やっぱり、外国人でも「察する」ことが大切なのは同じだと最近つくづく思う。
ウェルネス・コーチングでは「Generative moment」（相手と心の通い合う瞬間）をいかに創り出すか、ということを非常に重要視しているのですが、逆に言えば、人と人の関係は、それが仕事上のものでも、あるいは友人や恋人との関係でも、本質的には、非常にもろく壊れやすいものという前提の上で成り立っているということだと思います。
「言外を読む」って簡単なことではないですよね。
When people learn something new, some people prefer learning by reading some study materials (Print learners), some people prefer seeing illustrations, video clips ... etc (Visual learners), some people prefer listening some audiotape or things like that (Aural learners), and some people learn best by verbal communication such as asking questions to his/her instructor, exchanging ideas with other class members ... etc (Verbal learners). Like this, each person's preferred learning style and mode are various. This is one of topics I'm interested in recently.
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